I used to say that the best night of my life was the first time I saw Vienna Teng perform…
But I think that being in a place where everyone accepted and understood me immediately trumps that just a little.
I went to my first HATCH meeting today for the Trans support hour. I was happy to see a rainbow of different people there, whereas I was afraid I would be bombarded with intimidating already-on-t transguys with big arms and hairy faces.
But they were all so young and pretty much in the same place as me. There were a couple of 17-18 years olds there so that was nice.
It’s a shock to walk into a room of people who accept and understand you almost immediately. This is the first time I’ve been in an IRL social setting where both my preferred pronouns and name weren’t questioned or ignored.
He. Him. Emil. Immediately.
I was so nervous before I walked into the room and then it just melted away. Everyone was welcoming and amazing.
There were genderqueer and genderfluid people and agender people and pre-hrt people and people still in the closet. I felt more at home there than I ever have at my actual home.
How I felt there is how I wish I could feel every day around everyone.
Probably my proudest moment of the night was I finally used the men’s restroom for the first time. I knew it was in a safe place, so I didn’t feel nervous in the slightest.
It smelled like piss and testosterone. And it was amazing.
I need to get my driver’s license and a job to pay for gas now because I HAVE to go again. I have to. And I don’t want to inconvenience my license-wielding friends any more than needed.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my experience and…
I’m just going to be thinking about it for the next few weeks. It was indescribable.